he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
