i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
