when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
