you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
