Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
