we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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