I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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