I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
