The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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