So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I supernannyed him into submission
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