so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
