shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
