Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We had to coat check the pizza.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
