I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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