check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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