Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
