i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
