so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
