Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
