none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
