Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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