i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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