so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
