I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
