also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
