5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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