she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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