Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
