forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
