its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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