am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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