she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
