well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
