how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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