I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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