I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
