Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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