I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
