I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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