my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
