i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
