her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
