It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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