why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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