One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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