plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
