whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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