I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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