That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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