i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
