Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
